When I first started this blog, I wrote on topics that immediately came to mind. Lately, the posts have been spread out, and I try to write about different topics. My last post was about "13 Reasons Why", the newest Netflix Series to flip everyone's world around about the topic of suicide. Check out my previous post, to read more about my thoughts on the series. But this post, I want it to be about the triggers we trauma surviors experience. The immediate instances of the mind taking you right back to that moment, that feeling, even that's smell of the event. And if you suffered more than one trauma, one trigger can build and lead straight into the next.
For some reason, ever since "13 Reasons" I feel the need to watch tv shows and movies that immediately start a trigger. But series like Law and Order: SVU just seem like stories. Those stories can seem relatable.
I have a true love for documentaries and drama series. If you have survived horrible things in life, like trauma or sexual assualt, you can understand where I am coming from. It seems more often than not that new series or dramas can put a glimpse of assualt in a scene from the show. Horror movies are the worst. I love horror movies. I have since I was a kid. Of course as a kid, when it would show assault I had to turn it off. So now as an adult, I still find myself turning it off when I see assualt. But it's not just assault that triggers.
When I started therapy, my therapist said that one day my story of my trauma would be just that. It wouldn't have such an impact, it will feel like telling a sad story to someone. Right now in my journey, there are some chapters that I can tell and not feel hurt or relive those feelings. (Another reason I wanted to start my blog. I want to tell my story and hopefully someone who has gone through the same things will not feel alone.)
I've learned that triggers don't happen immediately. It can hit you later on the day or even weeks later. There have been movies I saw in the theaters and I got home and started crying. But why do we feel like we want to be triggered or watch the awful scenes that make us cry immediately. The past few weeks, I have found shows that it will get to an episode that I should stop watching then and there. But yet I feel like I want to watch it more. I want to try to push past the images that will show up in my nightmares, the episodes that my therapist would say, "absolutely do not watch this show". Is it my stubbornness to just do it to see why? I won't mention the shows or movies so because I don't want to trigger someone.
But why do we do the things we do to somewhat get the feeling of a trigger? I don't find myself doing it constantly. It's some sort of thrill. Some feeling of wrong. A feeling of doing what you're told not too, which I've also heard to be stubbornness. So how can we be stronger and immediately turn off that show and be strong enough to take ourselves out of the moment and separate the tv from our traumas. We have to practice. We have to tell ourselves that it's ok to have our slip ups, but don't forget how far you have come. Try to focus on little steps forward. Talk to someone about the show you watched, not like a confession, but explain to a friend why the show was difficult or had an impact. I told my boyfriend about the newest series I started and had to stop after the 3rd one, because I knew it was going to get bad further on. We talked about the show and he mentioned looking up the show ahead of time to see if the plot maybe ok not to see. He also recommend my favorite show the office, which is always a yes to watch. I'm not saying we survivors have to avoid tv and movies that feature drama, but make ourselves more aware. Each experience like this just makes us stronger.
We are not perfect, and we all have a lower days. This was a new topic for me. We are survivors. We are getting stronger to telling our stories as stories and not traumas. We are thrivers. We find ways and paths to make toward happiness and try everyday. We're all getting there, so keep looking forward.
-DC xoxo
5.08.2017
5.02.2017
Why 13 Reasons Are Not Enough
A lot of buzz has been going around about the latest Netflix show success. Here are some things to consider before watching it, and to think about what you have heard about it. If you have experience trauma, especially as a teenager or earlier, or any trauma at all tread with caution.
Here is what I have to say about the show. Looking back, it probably would have been a good idea to just not watch it, but I decided to watch it out of curiousity hoping that I could find someone who understood what my childhood, teens, and college years traumas. In a lot of ways, the high school girl who is the mainUIKeyInputDownArrow character, really felt like me in the series. I can think of all her experiences in my life. I have been through what she has.
But the show also focuses on bullying and sexual assault, rape and suicide. As she records 13 tapes to leave for the 13 people who had a large impact on her depression, we look back at her past as it explains how she was bullied and also, the impact it played in her life. As someone who has experienced bullying, its not just getting picked on, it's like someone putting a weight on your shoulder each time it happens. After so much weight that you cannot carry on your shoulders leaves a person lost and lonely.
So here is how the show has impacted me. It makes me think about how my life, my trauma, was built. How no one knew what state I was in of depression in high school. It reminded me of the people who said things to me that I'll never forget, the way they made me feel, and how it's made a difference as an adult. It makes me reflect on past relationships that were damaging. But most importantly it shows how serious and common mental illness really is. It's common, and should not be a stigma.
The articles I have read that speak about the show and how parents should watch with their teens, and know that there are outlets and support groups, etc. I look back when I was teenager and think, "would i have even listened to them or evern came to them about my problems?" I most likely would have talked to my friends. Back to the articles, i dont' think the articles come close to touching the points of the show. I very well could be biased about how people will never understand that state of mind, unless you have been through some real shit.
Ive seen letters sent home to parents about how to talk to your kids about depression and suicide signs. I really hope that this show opens minds to how serious, HOW SERIOUS, this topic is. It's not about parents saying "you need an attitude adjustment", or "stop looking for attention", or "get over it".
Now as an adult at 28yrs old, this show was the biggest trigger I have ever had in my life. It hit on every trauma I have had since being a teenager. In high school I remember reading this poster on a teachers podium that read "people may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you make them feel." THAT IS THE MOST TRUE THING I HAVE EVER LEARNED.
My advice to parents is to watch it. Watch it without your kids first. Sit them down and talk to them as a supportive outlet. Let them know they can talk to anyone, not only you. Talk to them about options. Parents, research and teach yourself to be aware of behavior changes. Things that they once had interest in, and don't care about anymore. Look for isolation. Look for sudden changes out of the blue. I'm speaking from experience, but there are many online sites with more tips about the subject.
3 times. 3 times I have thought that I wasn't good enough for my life. I felt that my relationships, romantically, friendships, and family relationships would never change. The 26 yrs of the trauma I kept inside took a toll. The words people would say to me, stuck. I couldn't talk to anyone, family or friends, because of the responses I would get when I tried to talk for support. After the 1st time, I figured out that I didn't want to live life that I have. But that doens't make everything go away. It take s practice. Parents be there for your kids, if you don't think they aren't listening they are. If they roll their eyes, they are listening.
Parents here are sites to consider talking points to start the conversation:
https://www.jedfoundation.org/13-reasons-why-talking-points/
https://www.save.org/13-reasons-why/
Please know that you are never alone and loved more that you will know.
Xoxo - DC
Here is what I have to say about the show. Looking back, it probably would have been a good idea to just not watch it, but I decided to watch it out of curiousity hoping that I could find someone who understood what my childhood, teens, and college years traumas. In a lot of ways, the high school girl who is the mainUIKeyInputDownArrow character, really felt like me in the series. I can think of all her experiences in my life. I have been through what she has.
But the show also focuses on bullying and sexual assault, rape and suicide. As she records 13 tapes to leave for the 13 people who had a large impact on her depression, we look back at her past as it explains how she was bullied and also, the impact it played in her life. As someone who has experienced bullying, its not just getting picked on, it's like someone putting a weight on your shoulder each time it happens. After so much weight that you cannot carry on your shoulders leaves a person lost and lonely.
So here is how the show has impacted me. It makes me think about how my life, my trauma, was built. How no one knew what state I was in of depression in high school. It reminded me of the people who said things to me that I'll never forget, the way they made me feel, and how it's made a difference as an adult. It makes me reflect on past relationships that were damaging. But most importantly it shows how serious and common mental illness really is. It's common, and should not be a stigma.
The articles I have read that speak about the show and how parents should watch with their teens, and know that there are outlets and support groups, etc. I look back when I was teenager and think, "would i have even listened to them or evern came to them about my problems?" I most likely would have talked to my friends. Back to the articles, i dont' think the articles come close to touching the points of the show. I very well could be biased about how people will never understand that state of mind, unless you have been through some real shit.
Ive seen letters sent home to parents about how to talk to your kids about depression and suicide signs. I really hope that this show opens minds to how serious, HOW SERIOUS, this topic is. It's not about parents saying "you need an attitude adjustment", or "stop looking for attention", or "get over it".
Now as an adult at 28yrs old, this show was the biggest trigger I have ever had in my life. It hit on every trauma I have had since being a teenager. In high school I remember reading this poster on a teachers podium that read "people may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you make them feel." THAT IS THE MOST TRUE THING I HAVE EVER LEARNED.
My advice to parents is to watch it. Watch it without your kids first. Sit them down and talk to them as a supportive outlet. Let them know they can talk to anyone, not only you. Talk to them about options. Parents, research and teach yourself to be aware of behavior changes. Things that they once had interest in, and don't care about anymore. Look for isolation. Look for sudden changes out of the blue. I'm speaking from experience, but there are many online sites with more tips about the subject.
3 times. 3 times I have thought that I wasn't good enough for my life. I felt that my relationships, romantically, friendships, and family relationships would never change. The 26 yrs of the trauma I kept inside took a toll. The words people would say to me, stuck. I couldn't talk to anyone, family or friends, because of the responses I would get when I tried to talk for support. After the 1st time, I figured out that I didn't want to live life that I have. But that doens't make everything go away. It take s practice. Parents be there for your kids, if you don't think they aren't listening they are. If they roll their eyes, they are listening.
Parents here are sites to consider talking points to start the conversation:
https://www.jedfoundation.org/13-reasons-why-talking-points/
https://www.save.org/13-reasons-why/
Please know that you are never alone and loved more that you will know.
Xoxo - DC
4.11.2017
Your Childhood Love Isn't Like Adulthood Love
I just left another eye-opening therapy session. I find it fascinating how our subconscious can show us previous experiences or trauma in different places in our life. For example the love you were given as a child, can effect the relationships as you get older. Not only romantically, as my therapist we try to make our childhood relationship come to life and be better than before. Our friendships, we look for the same type of relationships that we've been around and the type of love that we recieived as a child.
For my story, our session opened my eyes to how the dysfunctional relationship with my mom, has triggered other female relationships in my life. I have grew walls around me for many reasons as a since of protection from what might hurt me, or my struggles I have been through my whole life. My therapist opened my eyes to see that, those in my life that have a positive relationship as a mother and daughter, or as a family, makes me immediately retract from being around those situations.
Now I come to realize this recognition of my dysfunctional love from my mom, caused triggered from strange aspects of my life and a jealousy of happiness of a relationship I will never have.
Trying to explain this to someone who has a strong relationship with their family and parents may not grasp this way of life for us. So what can we do? What can we say that would help us if we get into these funks? Maybe they won't have answers. Maybe they can't help like you want them too, with the expectations of validation of what you want.
Right now this is brought a HUGE eye opener about the positive relationships I want and need in my life. I have to recognize the cognitive thoughts I have that probably aren't true. If you can relate to this, I would like to hear your feedback on how you learn to put your past triggers aside so you can learn and develop at healthy positive relationship.
4.05.2017
Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Pull the E-Brake!
We all know that if we wake up on the wrong side of the bed, it can make for quite a crazy and moody morning. For me, that cranky is riding with me all the way to work. It's on my shoulder walking with me into the building, all the way to my desk. Then I can usually start to unwind with my routine.
This morning something had put my stress in 5th gear with no signs of stopping. From brushing my teeth staring at myself in the mirror, I just read my face like this day already is going to be horrible. I changed my outfit at least 7 times, and comtimplated putting on make-up for 10 minutes. I stared at myself and thought, what can I wear that makes me feel comfortable. Does it really matter if I put on make-up? No. (I usually don't anyways for work because I sit a cube all day.) Will anyone else care? No. So what can I do for myself? So I threw on one of my favorite t-shirts, a jacket, and my new pizza vans shoes.
After the rainy gloomy drive in, I knew that work was going to be slow motion and last for hours and hours. I sit down and log into my computer, pull up my email, and I still can't catch my breath from the stress of getting ready at home. A lot of it came from how my jeans were fitting. I could definately be bloated, and us females can relate. To be so self-conscious about my jeans fitting was going to ruin my whole day. That was the thought that was hanging over me. I wasn't paying attention to the jokes my friend and I were talking about on Facebook. I wasn't really talking to my work friends and laughing like we usually do. This ONE thought. This ONE silly stressor, was my morning. So now it's after lunch, and I finally said F&*K it.
I heard some lady somewhere talk about this stain she had on her shirt after eating breakfast, and didn't see it until she got to work. She was so paranoid that everyone saw it when they talked to her. What everyone would think of her with this tiny stain on her shirt. But in the end, no one even mentioned it. No one really cared about it. And, co-workers didn't even notice it. She mentioned, why should we focus on these tiny thoughts that or silly, when it's not that HUGE to anyone else. Why should be spend our energy on the little things that won't matter tomorrow, or 2 years later? This is definitely easier than said.
Remember the people who love you just for the way that you are, even if your jeans feel like leg casts. Keep your head held up high when you walk. Take each day with a light heart. Make a list of the important blessings you have in your life rather than dragging yourself down about how you wish you didnt' have these jeans on, but rather I have a great boyfriend and loves me and supports my pizza shoes.
I know I'm not the only female out there with these thoughts, so just know that all of us girls get it.
- DC xoxo
This morning something had put my stress in 5th gear with no signs of stopping. From brushing my teeth staring at myself in the mirror, I just read my face like this day already is going to be horrible. I changed my outfit at least 7 times, and comtimplated putting on make-up for 10 minutes. I stared at myself and thought, what can I wear that makes me feel comfortable. Does it really matter if I put on make-up? No. (I usually don't anyways for work because I sit a cube all day.) Will anyone else care? No. So what can I do for myself? So I threw on one of my favorite t-shirts, a jacket, and my new pizza vans shoes.
After the rainy gloomy drive in, I knew that work was going to be slow motion and last for hours and hours. I sit down and log into my computer, pull up my email, and I still can't catch my breath from the stress of getting ready at home. A lot of it came from how my jeans were fitting. I could definately be bloated, and us females can relate. To be so self-conscious about my jeans fitting was going to ruin my whole day. That was the thought that was hanging over me. I wasn't paying attention to the jokes my friend and I were talking about on Facebook. I wasn't really talking to my work friends and laughing like we usually do. This ONE thought. This ONE silly stressor, was my morning. So now it's after lunch, and I finally said F&*K it.
I heard some lady somewhere talk about this stain she had on her shirt after eating breakfast, and didn't see it until she got to work. She was so paranoid that everyone saw it when they talked to her. What everyone would think of her with this tiny stain on her shirt. But in the end, no one even mentioned it. No one really cared about it. And, co-workers didn't even notice it. She mentioned, why should we focus on these tiny thoughts that or silly, when it's not that HUGE to anyone else. Why should be spend our energy on the little things that won't matter tomorrow, or 2 years later? This is definitely easier than said.
Remember the people who love you just for the way that you are, even if your jeans feel like leg casts. Keep your head held up high when you walk. Take each day with a light heart. Make a list of the important blessings you have in your life rather than dragging yourself down about how you wish you didnt' have these jeans on, but rather I have a great boyfriend and loves me and supports my pizza shoes.
I know I'm not the only female out there with these thoughts, so just know that all of us girls get it.
- DC xoxo
4.04.2017
Distractions: The Shiny Things We Should Avoid
I recently read an article that hit points about hyperfixation, which I just learned is a bunch of spratic distractions to keep us from our depressing and anxiety thoughts. And after reading, I thought this is exactly what is going on with me.
Lately, I have been staying up until 2-3am every night binge watching tv. And this article helped me realize that it is from distracting me from a trigger about going to bed. I will sleep on the couch a few days a week, just to keep from going to sleep in my bedroom. Now, I would say my art and hobbies are completely different because they give me a stress release. The creative challenges focus my mind in different ways, than ignoring my sprialing thoughts.
This past Sunday night, it was almost 2:30am and I had to talk myself about conquering my fear. I took my bedtime meds as usual, and went to lay down in bed. My thoughts were ramping up fast and swimming around and around and around in my mind. In moments like that, we have to immediately search for our coping tools. We have to stop our thoughts, focus on where we are in the moment, and tell ourselves we are safe, etc. Eventually I fell asleep from what I thought was staying awake forever.
Triggers are an interesting thing. If you have been through trauma, your brain can instantly, and I mean in a second, can bring up all the emotions, exact feelings, and put you right back to what is getting you through your therapy. As someone with PTSD, triggers are your worst enemy. I am learning that my strength is growing as we conquer daily fears. Therapy helps us look at things from a different perspective. Almost like an out of body experience. I can tell how I would have handled things in the old Dani ways. I think about how long it would have ruined my mood, if not my day. It would have stayed in my mind and I would have spiralled down the long dark tunnel of my past.
So when we get hit with our triggers, we have to immediately catch ourselves. We have to think past our fears. We have to know that our strengths are getting even stronger with each trigger we get hit with.
After long softball games last night, I went to bed early. I told myself that I am safe in my apartment. I am going to fall asleep and tomorrow will be a great day. Even if we don't think that we are strong, we have to learn to feel it. Or if you have to fake it until you make it, your mind will make you feel like you are. You will realize things aren't as worse as maybe you imagine.
I want us to all conquer one fear we have this week. It can be a small one, like not being afraid to walk behind someone in the hallway to the elevators at work. (For some reason, I am terrified about this). Remember you are stronger than you believe. Think of all the things that you have overcome since today.
-DC xoxo
Lately, I have been staying up until 2-3am every night binge watching tv. And this article helped me realize that it is from distracting me from a trigger about going to bed. I will sleep on the couch a few days a week, just to keep from going to sleep in my bedroom. Now, I would say my art and hobbies are completely different because they give me a stress release. The creative challenges focus my mind in different ways, than ignoring my sprialing thoughts.
This past Sunday night, it was almost 2:30am and I had to talk myself about conquering my fear. I took my bedtime meds as usual, and went to lay down in bed. My thoughts were ramping up fast and swimming around and around and around in my mind. In moments like that, we have to immediately search for our coping tools. We have to stop our thoughts, focus on where we are in the moment, and tell ourselves we are safe, etc. Eventually I fell asleep from what I thought was staying awake forever.
Triggers are an interesting thing. If you have been through trauma, your brain can instantly, and I mean in a second, can bring up all the emotions, exact feelings, and put you right back to what is getting you through your therapy. As someone with PTSD, triggers are your worst enemy. I am learning that my strength is growing as we conquer daily fears. Therapy helps us look at things from a different perspective. Almost like an out of body experience. I can tell how I would have handled things in the old Dani ways. I think about how long it would have ruined my mood, if not my day. It would have stayed in my mind and I would have spiralled down the long dark tunnel of my past.
So when we get hit with our triggers, we have to immediately catch ourselves. We have to think past our fears. We have to know that our strengths are getting even stronger with each trigger we get hit with.
After long softball games last night, I went to bed early. I told myself that I am safe in my apartment. I am going to fall asleep and tomorrow will be a great day. Even if we don't think that we are strong, we have to learn to feel it. Or if you have to fake it until you make it, your mind will make you feel like you are. You will realize things aren't as worse as maybe you imagine.
I want us to all conquer one fear we have this week. It can be a small one, like not being afraid to walk behind someone in the hallway to the elevators at work. (For some reason, I am terrified about this). Remember you are stronger than you believe. Think of all the things that you have overcome since today.
-DC xoxo
3.31.2017
Why They Will Never Understand the Pain, But Love You Anyways
I've talked before about communicating with our loved ones about what we are going through and asking them for help. Letting them recognize your changes and routine roller coasters. But I want to go further on that topic and show the other side. The side that they will never know or understand.
My therapist opened my eyes when she said it is absolutely impossible for them to feel and experience what I am and my daily anxiety and struggles. It seems like a simple sentence, but it really really makes sense if you think about it. How can we expect someone to know why we can't breathe because on anxiety or if we're fighting the thoughts that rush through our minds. It's physically impossible for them to feel all of that. So with this, it goes back to communication.
We have to realize that they can't feel our pain. With the difficulties I'm having right now medicine wise, I have to know how my reactions are effecting my friends, family, and boyfriend. I have been a mess of emotions, and it changes within seconds. I can snap at the smallest thing, it could be the dog scratching her ear, and I'm done. But because my boyfriend can't understand what is going on in that moment, or what is going on in my head. I have to use my coping tools, and control my emotions to keep from hurting my loved ones. They can only see the outside and your reactions. Can you imagine being on the other side of the situation? It takes a lot to catch yourself acting out, breathe, figure out how to fix it, and telling your boyfriend what is going on, and apologizing.
The people in your life that truly love you, will stick by us. But we can't push the limits of this. They don't deserve to get the butt end of the problems, every single time. This is why we have to find coping tools and outlets to push out all of our emotions else where.
And if you are having days that feel like you're on a constant rollercoaster and drowning at the same time. TALK to someone. Even if they can't understand what you're going through, they want to be there for you. They want to help the best way they can. They love us, and know for the most part how depression and anxiety effects you. They can tell when things are out of routine or you seem different. Tell them you love them and thank them for their patience and support. They may not hear it as much as you think. We can't push our loved ones away. We need them in our lives, no matter what our past was.
So, I want to take a minute to thank everyone of my friends, family, and especially my boyfriend for the patience and support I get from each of you. The understanding you have of who I am. And even though you have no idea what it's like, you are still there when we need you. I may not say it enough, but I am so thankful for you in my life.
- DC xoxo
My therapist opened my eyes when she said it is absolutely impossible for them to feel and experience what I am and my daily anxiety and struggles. It seems like a simple sentence, but it really really makes sense if you think about it. How can we expect someone to know why we can't breathe because on anxiety or if we're fighting the thoughts that rush through our minds. It's physically impossible for them to feel all of that. So with this, it goes back to communication.
We have to realize that they can't feel our pain. With the difficulties I'm having right now medicine wise, I have to know how my reactions are effecting my friends, family, and boyfriend. I have been a mess of emotions, and it changes within seconds. I can snap at the smallest thing, it could be the dog scratching her ear, and I'm done. But because my boyfriend can't understand what is going on in that moment, or what is going on in my head. I have to use my coping tools, and control my emotions to keep from hurting my loved ones. They can only see the outside and your reactions. Can you imagine being on the other side of the situation? It takes a lot to catch yourself acting out, breathe, figure out how to fix it, and telling your boyfriend what is going on, and apologizing.
The people in your life that truly love you, will stick by us. But we can't push the limits of this. They don't deserve to get the butt end of the problems, every single time. This is why we have to find coping tools and outlets to push out all of our emotions else where.
And if you are having days that feel like you're on a constant rollercoaster and drowning at the same time. TALK to someone. Even if they can't understand what you're going through, they want to be there for you. They want to help the best way they can. They love us, and know for the most part how depression and anxiety effects you. They can tell when things are out of routine or you seem different. Tell them you love them and thank them for their patience and support. They may not hear it as much as you think. We can't push our loved ones away. We need them in our lives, no matter what our past was.
So, I want to take a minute to thank everyone of my friends, family, and especially my boyfriend for the patience and support I get from each of you. The understanding you have of who I am. And even though you have no idea what it's like, you are still there when we need you. I may not say it enough, but I am so thankful for you in my life.
- DC xoxo
3.27.2017
The Bitch is Back, But Not For Long
How can we talk to our loved ones about the changes we go through with the medicine that most of us take to help with anxiety and depression? I just got done reading an article about this topic, and they had some great points that I want to talk about how it affects me.
The thought that there is an option out there to help ease your mind and daily jitters can feel like a huge relief. When my doctor and I first started talking about some of the benefits, it felt like I had found an answer to some of my life long questions. (Of course, with the help of therapy too). I know there are people out there who would disagree with the option of medicating, and use alternatives. To each it's own, I think.
I want to write to explain to our loved one's what it's like to be on meds. I don't think it is something to be ashamed of. The whole taking medicine because of your mental illness (or as some say crazy) shouldn't have a stigma that comes with it. It's my life, my choice, and it helps me live without losing my mind. ANYWHOO. Back to friends and love ones.
Our medicine isn't just like ibuprofen, and make the pain go away in 30 minutes. It's waay more than that. Since the medicine helps create a chemical balance in your brain, it's going to take some adjustments. So if you are going through changes like me, it can feel like a rollercoaster. I don't want to speak for others, but the meds are a catch 22. The side effects can be awful like nausea, headaches, and weight gain. (Which is probably the worst of all). But we have to choose. What feels like sanity, or trying to carry it on your own.
Now that I am switching medicines, its withdrawals. It feels like your old self. You can feel it all changing. My anxiety took a new high this weekend. From OCD to a panic attack by just talking to someone about opening a new bank account. It's also the irritation and agrivation. The feeling of being on edge, like if the wind blew the wrong way, I would instantly turn into the Incredible Hulk.
Therapy has help me recognize my old ways and how to cope immediately. How to know that I'm feeling anxious and angry at everyone. We need to remember what is actually happening. I tell myself that it's the withdrawal of medicine. It's grabbing a handful of ice cubes and deep breaths to come back to where I am.
With the right support system, which we've talked about before, it make a whole difference in your journey. They know that this isn't normal you. But we have to communicate and say "Hey, I feel like a rage monster and want you to know, can you help me?" This gives them an idea of what is going on and can help you cope. I have the best support system. I know I can text my friends and say "I'm being a bitch right now, talk with me." And Lord bless my patient boyfriend for helping me deal and come out of it. Find a positive support system that loves you for you, even your Hulk moments.
Shoutout to my support group, ya'll get me and still love me.
-DC xoxo
The thought that there is an option out there to help ease your mind and daily jitters can feel like a huge relief. When my doctor and I first started talking about some of the benefits, it felt like I had found an answer to some of my life long questions. (Of course, with the help of therapy too). I know there are people out there who would disagree with the option of medicating, and use alternatives. To each it's own, I think.
I want to write to explain to our loved one's what it's like to be on meds. I don't think it is something to be ashamed of. The whole taking medicine because of your mental illness (or as some say crazy) shouldn't have a stigma that comes with it. It's my life, my choice, and it helps me live without losing my mind. ANYWHOO. Back to friends and love ones.
Our medicine isn't just like ibuprofen, and make the pain go away in 30 minutes. It's waay more than that. Since the medicine helps create a chemical balance in your brain, it's going to take some adjustments. So if you are going through changes like me, it can feel like a rollercoaster. I don't want to speak for others, but the meds are a catch 22. The side effects can be awful like nausea, headaches, and weight gain. (Which is probably the worst of all). But we have to choose. What feels like sanity, or trying to carry it on your own.
Now that I am switching medicines, its withdrawals. It feels like your old self. You can feel it all changing. My anxiety took a new high this weekend. From OCD to a panic attack by just talking to someone about opening a new bank account. It's also the irritation and agrivation. The feeling of being on edge, like if the wind blew the wrong way, I would instantly turn into the Incredible Hulk.
Therapy has help me recognize my old ways and how to cope immediately. How to know that I'm feeling anxious and angry at everyone. We need to remember what is actually happening. I tell myself that it's the withdrawal of medicine. It's grabbing a handful of ice cubes and deep breaths to come back to where I am.
With the right support system, which we've talked about before, it make a whole difference in your journey. They know that this isn't normal you. But we have to communicate and say "Hey, I feel like a rage monster and want you to know, can you help me?" This gives them an idea of what is going on and can help you cope. I have the best support system. I know I can text my friends and say "I'm being a bitch right now, talk with me." And Lord bless my patient boyfriend for helping me deal and come out of it. Find a positive support system that loves you for you, even your Hulk moments.
Shoutout to my support group, ya'll get me and still love me.
-DC xoxo
3.22.2017
May Your Troubles Show Your Strengths
An article caught my eye a few days ago. It read "Why Girls With Anxiety Are The Strongest." I sat on the idea for a few minutes, letting the title marinate. And then I said to myself, actually that is a good point. Don't get me wrong, everyone has their ups and downs, daily struggles and life troubles.
But anxiety is a whole other beast. (And we are Belle, duh.) Anyone who has anxiety will be the first to tell you that it can be a nightmare. It's a fight with yourself everyday. Your mind is the Daytona 500. Circling around and around and around because you are doubting one thought. And then think of all the self-doubt that is the inner voice all day. It sucks. If anxiety is daily for you, then you know that it's a constant feeling and the teeny tiny thing can just set your mind off.
I believe that people who suffer from anxiety, like myself, have a different strength than most. We fight voices and thoughts every single day. If we use coping tools and stress identifiers ( I learned in therapy), then we can try to manage the stress the best that we can.
Look at it like lifting weights. Over time, you develop more strength as you continue to train. So just like working out, we are strengthening our mental thoughts. Can you peak back at some huge mountains you have overcame, and think holy smokes, I made it? How much stronger are you now? If you did it all over again, do you feel like you could conquer it better than before?
We are all mental fitness champions. It sounds weird, but we are. To everyone who has anxiety beast on their back whispering in our ears, well brush him off. (Literally swish your hand over your shoulder. Now. Right now.)
Take each day one step at a time. Use your coping tools to help settle your anxiety and most of all, know that you are not alone. Freddy Mercury said it best, "We are the champions, my friends, and we'll keep on fighting 'til the end..."
-DC xoxo
But anxiety is a whole other beast. (And we are Belle, duh.) Anyone who has anxiety will be the first to tell you that it can be a nightmare. It's a fight with yourself everyday. Your mind is the Daytona 500. Circling around and around and around because you are doubting one thought. And then think of all the self-doubt that is the inner voice all day. It sucks. If anxiety is daily for you, then you know that it's a constant feeling and the teeny tiny thing can just set your mind off.
I believe that people who suffer from anxiety, like myself, have a different strength than most. We fight voices and thoughts every single day. If we use coping tools and stress identifiers ( I learned in therapy), then we can try to manage the stress the best that we can.
Look at it like lifting weights. Over time, you develop more strength as you continue to train. So just like working out, we are strengthening our mental thoughts. Can you peak back at some huge mountains you have overcame, and think holy smokes, I made it? How much stronger are you now? If you did it all over again, do you feel like you could conquer it better than before?
We are all mental fitness champions. It sounds weird, but we are. To everyone who has anxiety beast on their back whispering in our ears, well brush him off. (Literally swish your hand over your shoulder. Now. Right now.)
Take each day one step at a time. Use your coping tools to help settle your anxiety and most of all, know that you are not alone. Freddy Mercury said it best, "We are the champions, my friends, and we'll keep on fighting 'til the end..."
-DC xoxo
How I Rediscovered My True Love
Creative. Discovery. Happiness. Lifestyle. These all describe what I really want more of in my life. I want the adrenaline of creating something new and unthought of. I am dazed by a blank canvas, sketch book page, or hand tools waiting to be used. I have rediscovered my true love for art.
As long as I have been in therapy, about 3 years now, I haven't felt the passion I used to for art. I grew up with it. I was always drawing, sketching, painting, or finding whatever activities I could do to keep my creative mind busy. And to know one day that I wouldn't even want to touch a pencil to draw, well I never imagined it. But it happened. What comes with depression is a lost of attraction. A lost to what you used to love. A lost from the world that you want to retract from. Over the years, I've wondered how can I find what I love, my art, again. How can I feel the rush of creativity again?
I will say that it has taken time. I'm not sure how or why, but it's back and I couldn't be happier. And I think it comes with other categories of life. Now that I've continued to find myself throughout last year to today, things have come together in a timing that I'll never understand why. It's funny that life has a way of working out, just like my dad always said. I can't roll my eyes at it anymore, because it is very true. It seems that life works in stages, leads you to the path so you can find your way, and then it's to the next stage. (Or a new door.. blah blah..).
So as of today, I have taught myself how to crochet. I have discovered hand calligraphy. I have started sketching again, and now picking my blog back up. I challenge everyone to find or rediscover your hobby. And if you don't feel like you have one, try a new one. It doesn't have to be a painting, maybe it's starting a garden. Maybe it's volunteering, or maybe it's even taking a walk or a new baking recipe.The point is to find what gives you peace and happiness. Truly, peace and happiness. What can you find that makes you feel like yourself again? With spring here and summer around the corner, the time is now. Let the sunshine fall on your face, breathe in the fresh air, and smile knowing that you are making a difference in your journey.
-DC xoxo
As long as I have been in therapy, about 3 years now, I haven't felt the passion I used to for art. I grew up with it. I was always drawing, sketching, painting, or finding whatever activities I could do to keep my creative mind busy. And to know one day that I wouldn't even want to touch a pencil to draw, well I never imagined it. But it happened. What comes with depression is a lost of attraction. A lost to what you used to love. A lost from the world that you want to retract from. Over the years, I've wondered how can I find what I love, my art, again. How can I feel the rush of creativity again?
I will say that it has taken time. I'm not sure how or why, but it's back and I couldn't be happier. And I think it comes with other categories of life. Now that I've continued to find myself throughout last year to today, things have come together in a timing that I'll never understand why. It's funny that life has a way of working out, just like my dad always said. I can't roll my eyes at it anymore, because it is very true. It seems that life works in stages, leads you to the path so you can find your way, and then it's to the next stage. (Or a new door.. blah blah..).
So as of today, I have taught myself how to crochet. I have discovered hand calligraphy. I have started sketching again, and now picking my blog back up. I challenge everyone to find or rediscover your hobby. And if you don't feel like you have one, try a new one. It doesn't have to be a painting, maybe it's starting a garden. Maybe it's volunteering, or maybe it's even taking a walk or a new baking recipe.The point is to find what gives you peace and happiness. Truly, peace and happiness. What can you find that makes you feel like yourself again? With spring here and summer around the corner, the time is now. Let the sunshine fall on your face, breathe in the fresh air, and smile knowing that you are making a difference in your journey.
-DC xoxo
It's Time to Catch Up
It's been a minute guys since I blogged. Honestly, I had things take over my time (as most people usually say, but it's true). So where we? Oh, yea. Friends and Family are the best support. But I want to start a new topic, and continue this journey. So all aboard!
Since the last chapter in my journey, I can say that I successfully made it through the holidays, which is a difficult time of year for me. And from what my therapist says, it is for a lot of people. So if you are one of us who dread the holidays, pat yourself on the back, because we made it!
2016 ended on a positive note for me. Looking back over the past year, I have a lot of new perspectives, personal goals, and discovery of myself a little more. Now that 2017 has arrived, its time to make new goals, not just physical weight goals, but mentally and emotionally. Through the hardships that last 3 months, I have definately learned some strengths I never thought I would make it through.
Of all my stressors, most of which gives me anxiety is finances. I mean who doesn't? I've learned to control what you can, keep a positive attitude (even through the dark times and nights you want to cry), and have faith in yourself. Now that it's all over, I can officially say that I made it through. I've found the light in the tunnel and passed it waving bye.
This year for all of us should be a year of pushing through things we never thought we could. What is one thing you think is impossible? What are the steps to get there? And mostly, what are you most afraid of?
I challenge you to figure this out. It may happen over night. It may take all year. BUT importantly, take baby steps, one at a time.
That is all for now,
- DC xoxo
Since the last chapter in my journey, I can say that I successfully made it through the holidays, which is a difficult time of year for me. And from what my therapist says, it is for a lot of people. So if you are one of us who dread the holidays, pat yourself on the back, because we made it!
2016 ended on a positive note for me. Looking back over the past year, I have a lot of new perspectives, personal goals, and discovery of myself a little more. Now that 2017 has arrived, its time to make new goals, not just physical weight goals, but mentally and emotionally. Through the hardships that last 3 months, I have definately learned some strengths I never thought I would make it through.
Of all my stressors, most of which gives me anxiety is finances. I mean who doesn't? I've learned to control what you can, keep a positive attitude (even through the dark times and nights you want to cry), and have faith in yourself. Now that it's all over, I can officially say that I made it through. I've found the light in the tunnel and passed it waving bye.
This year for all of us should be a year of pushing through things we never thought we could. What is one thing you think is impossible? What are the steps to get there? And mostly, what are you most afraid of?
I challenge you to figure this out. It may happen over night. It may take all year. BUT importantly, take baby steps, one at a time.
That is all for now,
- DC xoxo
10.12.2016
They Won't Let You Fall, So Let Them Catch You.
It's been a while since I've written. Some of my time was spent catching up on work tasks, and other times it was figuring out new topics to talk about. I don't have a schedule of certain topics, or list of ideas. I sort of approach it as sharing lessons I am learning in my life, when they happen. Life isn't planned out, and it's impossible for it to be like that. So, to jump back into it, let's talk about support.
I'm talking about the support of friends, family, co-workers, and others. The people we confide in. The people we trust. The people we hold close. The people who love and accept you just how you are.
Depression can get in the way and cause obstacles in between you and your support. There are days when you feel like you want to hide in the corner, or sleep to escape it all. Even if your friends are trying to make plans with you. There are times when I feel like, "I really want to see you, but I am so tired and have no energy." Frankly, I just want to be left alone. From time to time, that is just fine. But it cannot turn into a habit. As someone with depression, my therapist has taught me that we have to make plans to stay away from slumping and retracting from our loved ones. We have to remember why they are in our lives, and how special they are to us. We have to make plans with our loved ones to help with our recovery.
Because it is physically impossible for anyone to literally know what you are feeling, we have to give tips and ways they can help you when you are down in the dumps. It is OK to tell your friend you are having one of those days. It's OK to tell them what is going on that is bringing you down. It is OK to tell yourself you deserve these people. It is OK to tell your self you deserve positive people in your life.
I've highlighted the things that it is to be OK about. This is one of the biggest things I have to tell myself. Growing up, it was no mistakes, has to be perfect, plan ahead, and if not you were a failure.
But that is the complete opposite of how it goes. Mistakes will happen and it is OK. Life is not perfect and it is OK. And to not have a plan is OK.
With all of this said, I wanted to share what's been going on lately and maybe this can relate to someone and help them too. Over the last 2 years, I have went through some pretty big changes. Changes that were never acceptable as a kid, for example the number on the scale. With the anxiety that comes with that as changes happen, it has been a bumpy road to learn how to take care of yourself and be happy with the changes teaching me about self-love and not the exterior.
I had a bridal shower to attend to last weekend, and I had a huge anxiety attack right before showing up. Some of these people I haven't seen in a while. What would they think of me? They will probably tell friends, and I don't want to be in any photos.
Later, I cried in the bathroom because I don't look like I used to, what I was trained to look like, what I thought was perfection.
I have a great support system that loves me just the way I am. They support me on the good days and bad. Even when I'm crying in the bathroom and can't speak clearly because I am just spilling my guts.
So I want to hear how you love yourself everyday? What do you do that makes you happy? How to you push society away from the beauty standards and accept yourself and your journey? I want all of this to bring up the uncomfortable situation, and help each other learn to love ourselves.
- DC
I'm talking about the support of friends, family, co-workers, and others. The people we confide in. The people we trust. The people we hold close. The people who love and accept you just how you are.
Depression can get in the way and cause obstacles in between you and your support. There are days when you feel like you want to hide in the corner, or sleep to escape it all. Even if your friends are trying to make plans with you. There are times when I feel like, "I really want to see you, but I am so tired and have no energy." Frankly, I just want to be left alone. From time to time, that is just fine. But it cannot turn into a habit. As someone with depression, my therapist has taught me that we have to make plans to stay away from slumping and retracting from our loved ones. We have to remember why they are in our lives, and how special they are to us. We have to make plans with our loved ones to help with our recovery.
Because it is physically impossible for anyone to literally know what you are feeling, we have to give tips and ways they can help you when you are down in the dumps. It is OK to tell your friend you are having one of those days. It's OK to tell them what is going on that is bringing you down. It is OK to tell yourself you deserve these people. It is OK to tell your self you deserve positive people in your life.
I've highlighted the things that it is to be OK about. This is one of the biggest things I have to tell myself. Growing up, it was no mistakes, has to be perfect, plan ahead, and if not you were a failure.
But that is the complete opposite of how it goes. Mistakes will happen and it is OK. Life is not perfect and it is OK. And to not have a plan is OK.
With all of this said, I wanted to share what's been going on lately and maybe this can relate to someone and help them too. Over the last 2 years, I have went through some pretty big changes. Changes that were never acceptable as a kid, for example the number on the scale. With the anxiety that comes with that as changes happen, it has been a bumpy road to learn how to take care of yourself and be happy with the changes teaching me about self-love and not the exterior.
I had a bridal shower to attend to last weekend, and I had a huge anxiety attack right before showing up. Some of these people I haven't seen in a while. What would they think of me? They will probably tell friends, and I don't want to be in any photos.
Later, I cried in the bathroom because I don't look like I used to, what I was trained to look like, what I thought was perfection.
I have a great support system that loves me just the way I am. They support me on the good days and bad. Even when I'm crying in the bathroom and can't speak clearly because I am just spilling my guts.
So I want to hear how you love yourself everyday? What do you do that makes you happy? How to you push society away from the beauty standards and accept yourself and your journey? I want all of this to bring up the uncomfortable situation, and help each other learn to love ourselves.
- DC
9.13.2016
Escaping the Monster of Control
It's been too long since I last wrote and I can feel the effects coming on. Today is a hard day. As someone with anxiety and depression, the bad days can feel like sandbags on your shoulder. Let me try to explain what that feels like. First, there are a ton of images and articles trying to describe what anxiety and depression feels like. I am no professional, but I can tell what I've experienced over the years.
Depression and anxiety is different for each person living it. This is my life with it. Depression is feeling like you are walking in tar all the time. You are pulling your legs just to walk and stand up. Sometimes you have no idea why the tar is there. Sometimes it's deeper once day, and others its just a puddle. Your whole body feels numb. It's not a sore feeling like you exercised hard the day before, but heavy from your shoulders to your feet. After a full day of work, you want to get straight to bed and sleep forever really. Sleep makes all of the stress, tar, numbness away. It's really an escape.
Getting ready in the morning might as well be hiking a mountain. Just taking care of yourself, daily things, seems like the impossible. Let's not forget about Depression's best friend, Anxiety. So now that we have all of the Depression happening, let's add Anxiety. Anxiety is always on your shoulder saying what exactly could go wrong in every situation, in a million ways. You feel like an elephant is sitting on your chest, and your heart feels like it's going to explode out of your chest. You cannot focus on anything else, but worries on what is going to make you fail.
Again, this is just my description of my symptoms. Everyone can be experiencing this differently. My depression and anxiety come from trauma. I take medication to ease my triggers, and daily struggles. There is a lot of debate about medicine or not, but it's a personal choice. The people who are suffering or recovering will only be those who can understand the best.
So my trauma happened as a child, I now have PTSD. My triggers can happen at any moment, from seeing something that reminds me, a specific smell, or even a hug. Statistics say that from a trauma, or mental illness can also bring on an addiction. Some it's drugs, sex, etc. Mine is food.
I have a Binge Eating Disorder. It's actually the most common eating disorder in the U.S. Some may roll their eyes reading from this, and I would say you have the right to have an opinion. BED is characterized by recurrent episodes of eating large quantities of food. This is to the point of pain. Eating until it hurts, very quickly every episode. Then after you eat, you feel hateful about yourself. You feel even more depressed, shamed, and guilt. When you eat, you feel like you cannot stop and it's out of your control. Then the next day to make yourself better, you don't eat because you feel like you don't deserve to because of how much food you ate the day before.
Food has always been a comfort zone for my whole family, so naturally it is for me. Then my trauma made it even worse. I have been told my whole life that your appearance will judge your success in life. Your hair, make-up, size, etc. has to be to a perfectionist standard. So once I started gaining weight, it was drowning for me. I was failing at life and I was a disappointment.
When I started therapy for my first year, it was the hardest. I was just getting out of a verbally abusive relationship, which was a revisit from my childhood, and trying to learn how to handle myself. Most anti-depressants help create the chemical balance of your brain. They also increase your appetite. I started therapy mid-2014 and since then the weight has hit hard. The winter of 2015, I decided to stop and make a change. It is the biggest struggle I have ever had to do. It takes every ounce in my body to fight the addiction of eating. Everyday I have to tell myself what I want from this change. The negative comments I have received over the year, just make me want this more for myself.
I wanted to write about this today, because this is the first day in a while I broke down and binged.
I have to remind myself, that it is ok to take a break, but I cannot stay in this place. It is important to recognized where you are in the process of change and know that it is ok. Breaks are allowed in life. It's about a balance. It's about changing to a new lifestyle. I want people to read this knowing they are not alone. We all should support others for pushing themselves for a better life. And if you have working hard, keep it up. Even with those bad days, know that tomorrow will be a good day. You are worth the happiness and life you want.
Keep the Journey going.
-DC xoxo
Depression and anxiety is different for each person living it. This is my life with it. Depression is feeling like you are walking in tar all the time. You are pulling your legs just to walk and stand up. Sometimes you have no idea why the tar is there. Sometimes it's deeper once day, and others its just a puddle. Your whole body feels numb. It's not a sore feeling like you exercised hard the day before, but heavy from your shoulders to your feet. After a full day of work, you want to get straight to bed and sleep forever really. Sleep makes all of the stress, tar, numbness away. It's really an escape.
Getting ready in the morning might as well be hiking a mountain. Just taking care of yourself, daily things, seems like the impossible. Let's not forget about Depression's best friend, Anxiety. So now that we have all of the Depression happening, let's add Anxiety. Anxiety is always on your shoulder saying what exactly could go wrong in every situation, in a million ways. You feel like an elephant is sitting on your chest, and your heart feels like it's going to explode out of your chest. You cannot focus on anything else, but worries on what is going to make you fail.
Again, this is just my description of my symptoms. Everyone can be experiencing this differently. My depression and anxiety come from trauma. I take medication to ease my triggers, and daily struggles. There is a lot of debate about medicine or not, but it's a personal choice. The people who are suffering or recovering will only be those who can understand the best.
So my trauma happened as a child, I now have PTSD. My triggers can happen at any moment, from seeing something that reminds me, a specific smell, or even a hug. Statistics say that from a trauma, or mental illness can also bring on an addiction. Some it's drugs, sex, etc. Mine is food.
I have a Binge Eating Disorder. It's actually the most common eating disorder in the U.S. Some may roll their eyes reading from this, and I would say you have the right to have an opinion. BED is characterized by recurrent episodes of eating large quantities of food. This is to the point of pain. Eating until it hurts, very quickly every episode. Then after you eat, you feel hateful about yourself. You feel even more depressed, shamed, and guilt. When you eat, you feel like you cannot stop and it's out of your control. Then the next day to make yourself better, you don't eat because you feel like you don't deserve to because of how much food you ate the day before.
Food has always been a comfort zone for my whole family, so naturally it is for me. Then my trauma made it even worse. I have been told my whole life that your appearance will judge your success in life. Your hair, make-up, size, etc. has to be to a perfectionist standard. So once I started gaining weight, it was drowning for me. I was failing at life and I was a disappointment.
When I started therapy for my first year, it was the hardest. I was just getting out of a verbally abusive relationship, which was a revisit from my childhood, and trying to learn how to handle myself. Most anti-depressants help create the chemical balance of your brain. They also increase your appetite. I started therapy mid-2014 and since then the weight has hit hard. The winter of 2015, I decided to stop and make a change. It is the biggest struggle I have ever had to do. It takes every ounce in my body to fight the addiction of eating. Everyday I have to tell myself what I want from this change. The negative comments I have received over the year, just make me want this more for myself.
I wanted to write about this today, because this is the first day in a while I broke down and binged.
I have to remind myself, that it is ok to take a break, but I cannot stay in this place. It is important to recognized where you are in the process of change and know that it is ok. Breaks are allowed in life. It's about a balance. It's about changing to a new lifestyle. I want people to read this knowing they are not alone. We all should support others for pushing themselves for a better life. And if you have working hard, keep it up. Even with those bad days, know that tomorrow will be a good day. You are worth the happiness and life you want.
Keep the Journey going.
-DC xoxo
8.26.2016
Always, Always Swing For the Fences
This week has been crazy at work with meetings, meetings, and meetings. But there was a big take away from it, which was surprising in the end. We spent about 3 hours learning about our different personality types. My first thought was, really? I know my personality and I'm happy with it. There is a science to your personality. How you communicate, how you need validation, and how to be receptive and understanding to others who aren't your personality type.
This test was called the Myers-Briggs test. Basically, two psychoanalysis's were like, "Hey, lets create this test about personalities for people to learn more about themselves.. blah blah blah." It was almost 100 questions, but it was all worth it in the end. There were 8 categories, basically opposites of each. (How we work together as a team. How we can communicate and grow together.)
After this week, I have learned a valuable lesson. You know when you have this brilliant idea, you feel the passion behind it, and when you execute it just they way you pictured, you get this high and addrenaline that you nailed it. I'm a creative type, so this is the feeling that I live for. I presented it to the big bosses of the department. At first, they loved it. We talked about how this will open doors to other channels, etc. Then that afternoon, my boss told me that the project was not really the representation that they had hoped.
A year ago if this happened, I would have stormed out of the office, going straight to the bathroom, and crying in the stall. I put my heart into this. I love my job and what I am able to do. But today was different, different for the better. I didn't leave the office crying. I wasn't upset or angry. I felt disheartened. I felt confused. BUT I didn't blame myself. I didn't question my worth. I didn't feel like I let my team down. I felt like this is not the end of my project.
I have been competitive all my life, and still am to this day. I want my ideas to be out of this world. I want to stand out and remembered as myself. I have played sports since I was 4yrs. old. I treat everything like a sports game. (Mostly baseball because it's my life, blood, and passion.) ANYWAYS. So in my terms, this is how today went.
It's the 6th or 7th inning of the game, the score is let's say, 5 to 3 my team in the lead. I'm up to bat. So far, I've had a few single hits, but nothing to gain a scoring run. But this time, I have 2 teammates on base. (Second base and Third base). Two outs and I step into the batter's box. First pitch, low inside. My presentation got some criticism, constructive I would say, but nothing bad. Second pitch, high outside. We collaborated a plan to how the project would play out through 2017. The third pitch. I have the feeling in my gut that I nailed it. My project was going to make a huge difference in my work, and set my team up for innovation over the next year. Here comes the fastball, right down the middle. I hit the ball and it's soaring through the outfield. The outfielder is running fast back too the wall. It's going to be out of the park. Then the player catches it over the wall. My project got declined, for whatever reasons. Some would probably say, well you left your teammates hanging, left on base. Yes, but. We're a team. We are still ahead in the score and the game isn't over. I gave that hit all my of swing and pushed out the power I have.
My team has my support. They encourage me to swing for the fences. If the opportunity arises for our team to "take the lead", then everyone comes together to go for the win. Is it a shutout everytime? No. Is it a complete beating? No. But it's a part of life. You will have different games everyday. You never know what the next pitch will be. The most important thing is you have the best team you can be with. Your team is your support. It's not an individual sport. You can be on a ton of teams. Family, friends, co-workers, groups, etc. My co-workers are family. We carry and push and encourage the best out of us. Together. Today didn't go as I had wanted to for something I worked hard on, but it's doesn't stop me. I want to get right back in the batter's box. It's true. If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life. Next time you're around your team or teammate, tell them thank you. Tell them that you appreciate them. Tell them they are important on your team. Different personalities, different communication, and different signals are the not the same for everyone.
When they say swing for the fences, do it. Swing with everything you have. You deserve that chance to bat. You deserve to be apart of a team of support that wants that home-run as much as you do. And if you don't hit it, they are still there cheering for the next time.
Babe Ruth said it best, "Never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game."
-DC
This test was called the Myers-Briggs test. Basically, two psychoanalysis's were like, "Hey, lets create this test about personalities for people to learn more about themselves.. blah blah blah." It was almost 100 questions, but it was all worth it in the end. There were 8 categories, basically opposites of each. (How we work together as a team. How we can communicate and grow together.)
After this week, I have learned a valuable lesson. You know when you have this brilliant idea, you feel the passion behind it, and when you execute it just they way you pictured, you get this high and addrenaline that you nailed it. I'm a creative type, so this is the feeling that I live for. I presented it to the big bosses of the department. At first, they loved it. We talked about how this will open doors to other channels, etc. Then that afternoon, my boss told me that the project was not really the representation that they had hoped.
A year ago if this happened, I would have stormed out of the office, going straight to the bathroom, and crying in the stall. I put my heart into this. I love my job and what I am able to do. But today was different, different for the better. I didn't leave the office crying. I wasn't upset or angry. I felt disheartened. I felt confused. BUT I didn't blame myself. I didn't question my worth. I didn't feel like I let my team down. I felt like this is not the end of my project.
I have been competitive all my life, and still am to this day. I want my ideas to be out of this world. I want to stand out and remembered as myself. I have played sports since I was 4yrs. old. I treat everything like a sports game. (Mostly baseball because it's my life, blood, and passion.) ANYWAYS. So in my terms, this is how today went.
It's the 6th or 7th inning of the game, the score is let's say, 5 to 3 my team in the lead. I'm up to bat. So far, I've had a few single hits, but nothing to gain a scoring run. But this time, I have 2 teammates on base. (Second base and Third base). Two outs and I step into the batter's box. First pitch, low inside. My presentation got some criticism, constructive I would say, but nothing bad. Second pitch, high outside. We collaborated a plan to how the project would play out through 2017. The third pitch. I have the feeling in my gut that I nailed it. My project was going to make a huge difference in my work, and set my team up for innovation over the next year. Here comes the fastball, right down the middle. I hit the ball and it's soaring through the outfield. The outfielder is running fast back too the wall. It's going to be out of the park. Then the player catches it over the wall. My project got declined, for whatever reasons. Some would probably say, well you left your teammates hanging, left on base. Yes, but. We're a team. We are still ahead in the score and the game isn't over. I gave that hit all my of swing and pushed out the power I have.
My team has my support. They encourage me to swing for the fences. If the opportunity arises for our team to "take the lead", then everyone comes together to go for the win. Is it a shutout everytime? No. Is it a complete beating? No. But it's a part of life. You will have different games everyday. You never know what the next pitch will be. The most important thing is you have the best team you can be with. Your team is your support. It's not an individual sport. You can be on a ton of teams. Family, friends, co-workers, groups, etc. My co-workers are family. We carry and push and encourage the best out of us. Together. Today didn't go as I had wanted to for something I worked hard on, but it's doesn't stop me. I want to get right back in the batter's box. It's true. If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life. Next time you're around your team or teammate, tell them thank you. Tell them that you appreciate them. Tell them they are important on your team. Different personalities, different communication, and different signals are the not the same for everyone.
When they say swing for the fences, do it. Swing with everything you have. You deserve that chance to bat. You deserve to be apart of a team of support that wants that home-run as much as you do. And if you don't hit it, they are still there cheering for the next time.
Babe Ruth said it best, "Never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game."
-DC
8.16.2016
"Don't Give Up... Don't Ever Give Up."
Jimmy Valvano was one of the best basketball coaches of all the time. I have played basketball all of my life, so his story is especially meaningful to me. BUT if you don't know anything about sports, he will motivate you too.
Jimmy V. was the head coach for North Carolina State in late 80's-90's. He was basically a stand-up comedian who coached college basketball. His team was the true definition of the Cinderella Story. The underdogs who shocked the world to come from the bottom to take the Men's NCAA Championship in 1983. Besides his huge personality, fans remember him running up and down the court with his team cheering, hugging teammates after the win. He went on to be a sports broadcaster for ESPN and ABC Sports.
In 1992, Coach V. was diagnosed with a type of bone cancer. Shortly after this speech, he passed away.
THIS. THIS VIDEO. This is the famous speech that he gave at the 1993 ESPY's for winning the Arthur Ashe Courage and Humanitarian Award. Please watch it. Please take the time to listen to all of it. It is a longer video, but it will change your life. This video will change your perspective of life.
"To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. And number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day. That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special."
This video always gives me chills and makes me on the verge of tears. It immediately makes me feel like I have a great life. I want to accomplish so much more. These 3 things he talks about, I still try to do everyday. And we all should. It's easier said that done, but we can make it a goal for everyday.
There will be bad days. There will be hard days, and days you don't want to do anything but lay in bed. But we have to try. We have to find one thing a day that makes us laugh, think, and moved to tears. If you can't find 3 in a day, just shoot for 1.
Please visit The V Foundation for Cancer Research for more information about donating.
-DC
8.12.2016
To the People Who Chose to Leave Me
I want to write a letter to everyone in my life who have left because they couldn't handle my anxiety and depression. I want you to know how you have changed my life. How at that time, I needed you and you decided to leave. This is for you.
To the people who left:
- You said I was over-reacting and being selfish.
- You said I was the problem and begging for attention.
- You said I needed to forgive the person who gave me the trauma.
- You said I deserved what happened.
- You said therapy wouldn't work.
- You said I would never change.
- You took the easy way out and left.
But you could've have been anymore wrong. You changed my life for the better. At the time, I thought I was never going to get through pain. I was told numerous times that people would come into my life and wouldn't leave. I didn't believe it at the time, but was the truth. The people who cared and love you won't leave. They will stay with you through thick and thin. The dark times and best times. This is what I have gained from you leaving me.
- You have given me strength to continue my journey.
- I can be strong in being myself.
- I can accept that I can overcome my trauma.
- I am empowered by my story.
- I am so much better off with out you.
And to the people who have stayed:
- Thank you for understanding my situation.
- Thank you for being patient with me when I'm stressed out.
- Thank you for letting me reach out when I need someone to talk to.
- Thank you for loving me the way that I am.
- Thank you for your support and encouragement.
If you suffer from anxiety, depression, PTSD, etc., please know that people with come and go. But the one's that care the most won't leave. They will hold your hand through the worst times. They will hug you through the flashbacks and panic attacks. They will go to therapy sessions with you to learn how they can help. And most of all, they will support you on your journey to happiness.
To the people who left:
- You said I was over-reacting and being selfish.
- You said I was the problem and begging for attention.
- You said I needed to forgive the person who gave me the trauma.
- You said I deserved what happened.
- You said therapy wouldn't work.
- You said I would never change.
- You took the easy way out and left.
But you could've have been anymore wrong. You changed my life for the better. At the time, I thought I was never going to get through pain. I was told numerous times that people would come into my life and wouldn't leave. I didn't believe it at the time, but was the truth. The people who cared and love you won't leave. They will stay with you through thick and thin. The dark times and best times. This is what I have gained from you leaving me.
- You have given me strength to continue my journey.
- I can be strong in being myself.
- I can accept that I can overcome my trauma.
- I am empowered by my story.
- I am so much better off with out you.
And to the people who have stayed:
- Thank you for understanding my situation.
- Thank you for being patient with me when I'm stressed out.
- Thank you for letting me reach out when I need someone to talk to.
- Thank you for loving me the way that I am.
- Thank you for your support and encouragement.
If you suffer from anxiety, depression, PTSD, etc., please know that people with come and go. But the one's that care the most won't leave. They will hold your hand through the worst times. They will hug you through the flashbacks and panic attacks. They will go to therapy sessions with you to learn how they can help. And most of all, they will support you on your journey to happiness.
5 Tips To Get Out of a Panic Attack Fast
Today out started on the wrong foot. I had to keep telling myself to take one email at a time, and deep breaths. But the anxiety had already started to build. If you're like me, I can't sit still and my mind is racing at 100mph. My first reaction is to get out of my cube, go to the bathroom, close the stall door, and catch my breath. My back is pressed against the wall. I start some of my breathing exercises. After doing this for a minute, I come back out of the stall and start another coping mechanism.
I have learned some coping skills ever since the hospital and therapy. If you don't have your medicine close, or in a situation that you cannot leave, these should help for in the moment. I have learned that you can use your 5 senses. It may not sound like much at first, but it will when you need them. If you are about to have an anxiety attack, the best way to stop it is to distract yourself. You need to trick you're own mind to focus on something else fast. I have to keep repeating these sometimes. Eventually, you will know what works the best for you.
Here's what I recommend for some distractions:
1. Sight: Focus on the things around you. If there is a sign or painting on the wall, stare at it. What do you see? What colors are there? What is in the image? Start reading to yourself what you see. Everything you see. There is a blue painting in my gyno doctor's office. I could tell you everything in that painting to this day, because I use it to cope while at my apt. It has a park bench with pink flowers beside it. It has blue tones, basically like a blue filter. There is a little girl sitting on the bench sitting with her legs crossed, looking down to the ground, wearing a white bonnet. I am a visual person, so this one helps me a lot.
2. Taste: Is there something close, like candy, and you can eat? I keep peppermints in my purse and in my desk drawer at work. Once you taste the candy, tell yourself what you taste. Is it cinnamon? Is it sweet? Does it have a flavor? Is it hard candy or soft candy? Again, this is to help take your focus on the anxiety fastly approaching.
3. Touch: What items are around you? Do you have a lipstick in your purse? What about your wallet? I've been stuck in a meeting and had to do this. Basically, describe what you feel by what you are touching. One of my favorites is to run my hands under the running water. For just a second, then put the water on my face.
4. Smell: I keep a lavender lotion at my desk, and its the same scent as my bath soap. Also, my counselors said when you pour the shampoo in your hands, to bring it up to your face to smell. Take a deep breath and inhale. You wouldn't believe that it would work. So if you're away from home, describe what you smell. Do the same thing as the shampoo, but with lotion.
5. Sound: Anytime I feel depressed at work, I always pull up one of my favorite comedians on YouTube. If you are feeling sad, turn on something that will make you laugh. It's also calming to your body, but laughing releases endorphins that make you happy anyways.
There are many coping tools to use instead of medicine. It can work in any situation because you are focusing internally on your thoughts. You can control your thoughts and this is why we have to recognize that we can stop the anxiety before it gets the best of us. I usually wind up with a full on panic attack if I don't get ahead of it.
Are there things you do to cope? What works best for you? Share below in the comments. I would love to hear other helpful tips!
-DC
8.10.2016
This is Only Temporary If I Want It to Be
The past few days seem to feel like they all run together. I've noticed myself thinking differently, which has made my mental state weird. I find myself being really judgmental. I am scrolling through my Facebook, rolling my eyes at posts by friends. People being happy about their lives. Engagements, baby announcements, vacations, etc. Why do I care what's going on? I'm sick of seeing stuff about their happy lives.
As my boyfriend and I were driving to our softball league game, I was telling him about a post I saw and talking trash about it. He said to me, "Why can't you be happy for them?" Then it hit me. My attitude sucks. I need to change it. Why can't I be happy for them? Some of these are from good friends, I should be happy for them. Maybe I need a break from social media. Maybe I need to find out what is going on with me, to stop taking it out on my friends.
We know gossip is all around us. Everyone has that one friend you know is going to start the conversation of with something they saw on Instagram, or Facebook. At what point do westop doing this? If we're surrounded by it and find ourselves starting to talk like this, then we have already been infected by the disease. The contagious disease of judging people.
After my boyfriend brought up what I said, I started looking for what is different for me lately. Is it something out of my routine? Have I been sleeping okay and I'm just cranky? Have I ran lately? What am I eating? Or am I stressed about stuff? So after browsing through these questions in my head, I came to the conclusion that it was all of the above. I have so much stuff going on in my life that I let it get the best of me, and took it out on someone else. Dumb right? It happens to all of us.
So what do I need to do about it to fix it? I can start a mood journal and write down how I feel or the ups and downs during the day. Then after a few days I can reflect on what was going on that day to make me feel bad, mad, or sad. I can use my tools from therapy to cope with these feelings and mentally think of positive things in my life to change my focus on good things. I can talk to a friend about what's going on with me, why I'm feeling like I do.
Needless to say, we all have bad days, even bad weeks. But we can rise above it. We can be happy for people when we're not happy at the moment. It's about being self-less. It's about taking the spotlight off of yourself and caring about what is going on that is special in your friends lives. Because one day that will be you. You will have something awesome happen and you would want the same joy shared with your friends. Remember, if you are having a bad day, it's only a day. The same for a bad week. It's only temporary, if you make it temporary. Share the joy in your life with people you love, and do the same for them.
-DC
8.09.2016
Speaking Up is What Will Save Us
They say that communication is one of the essential parts of life. It's not just how we speak to each other, but also our body language can be just as loud. Communication is a major part of relationships whether intimate or just friends. It can be substantial at your job to clarify what projects to tackle. All of this is to say, how do you communicate?
I have anxiety. I have depression. I have PTSD. Communication is a key factor to all of those. Let's start with anxiety. The symptoms of anxiety can feel like everything will go wrong. You feel like an elephant is sitting on your chest. You don't know what to do to get out of this feeling. Depression makes you feel numb to your surrounds. It feels like a weight on your shoulders gets heavier every day. And PTSD makes you feel like you will never escape your trauma.
We have to communicate with our loved ones. We just have to find a way to tell them what we need. It might feel selfish to ask someone to help you in your time of emotions. But they cannot know what to do until you tell them exactly. I've had a few counseling sessions that I asked my boyfriend to join me to help me when I go into panic attacks. I had to tell him exactly what I needed if I was having an anxiety attack or a flashback. It can be verbal, a hug, etc., whatever it is that you need to come out of the moment. Personally, I need a hug. I need to be reminded of where I am, and not in the past. To each is their own.
In any other relationship, even if you don't suffer from anxiety/depression, we have to be honest with our support systems. If we are having a bad day, tell them that things are hard right now, and ask if they can join you for a moment. On the phone, a coffee date, or even a walk. Only you know what you need for yourself. If we are not honest, then we cannot expect others to help in the right ways. You only get one go around in life, don't leave any moment out to help better yourself.
Be confident in asking others for help that is what your support system can do for you. Our journey includes being the best we can do for ourselves every day. We deserve healthy relationships for ourselves. No one can read our minds to know our internal needs, so we need a voice to speak for ourselves.
If you feel like you have no one to talk to when you are down in the dark phase, please talk to someone. Even if it's a text, a tweet, or telling a friend, you are loved. It will seem like the hardest thing to do. It will seem like you are bothering others. But you aren't. Life is a beautiful thing. You can get through the thoughts that make it feel like the end. It has taken me a few times to realize it. This blog is the reason I want to share my story of my journey from the bottom to happiness and share my story to connect with others in the same place.
-DC
I have anxiety. I have depression. I have PTSD. Communication is a key factor to all of those. Let's start with anxiety. The symptoms of anxiety can feel like everything will go wrong. You feel like an elephant is sitting on your chest. You don't know what to do to get out of this feeling. Depression makes you feel numb to your surrounds. It feels like a weight on your shoulders gets heavier every day. And PTSD makes you feel like you will never escape your trauma.
We have to communicate with our loved ones. We just have to find a way to tell them what we need. It might feel selfish to ask someone to help you in your time of emotions. But they cannot know what to do until you tell them exactly. I've had a few counseling sessions that I asked my boyfriend to join me to help me when I go into panic attacks. I had to tell him exactly what I needed if I was having an anxiety attack or a flashback. It can be verbal, a hug, etc., whatever it is that you need to come out of the moment. Personally, I need a hug. I need to be reminded of where I am, and not in the past. To each is their own.
In any other relationship, even if you don't suffer from anxiety/depression, we have to be honest with our support systems. If we are having a bad day, tell them that things are hard right now, and ask if they can join you for a moment. On the phone, a coffee date, or even a walk. Only you know what you need for yourself. If we are not honest, then we cannot expect others to help in the right ways. You only get one go around in life, don't leave any moment out to help better yourself.
Be confident in asking others for help that is what your support system can do for you. Our journey includes being the best we can do for ourselves every day. We deserve healthy relationships for ourselves. No one can read our minds to know our internal needs, so we need a voice to speak for ourselves.
If you feel like you have no one to talk to when you are down in the dark phase, please talk to someone. Even if it's a text, a tweet, or telling a friend, you are loved. It will seem like the hardest thing to do. It will seem like you are bothering others. But you aren't. Life is a beautiful thing. You can get through the thoughts that make it feel like the end. It has taken me a few times to realize it. This blog is the reason I want to share my story of my journey from the bottom to happiness and share my story to connect with others in the same place.
8.08.2016
Will It Matter in a Year?
After a long weekend out of town, I come back to my office Monday morning dreading what my inbox looks like. The exhaustion of travel is still lingering. Long story short, it has been one of those days.
If you are like me, reading an email that says "next time, please handle these tasks differently...", means you should have known to do it correctly the first time. Then it spirals from there. Why didn't I think to do it that way? I'm an idiot. What does my boss think of me now? Is my job in jeopardy? etc. I was raised to have no mistakes and that everything makes an impression of what kind of person you are. There was no thinking outside of the box, its black and white. So if you were trained all of your life with this thinking, your natural instinct is that you did something wrong.
Life is about mistakes. Life is about learning. Life is about growing. If you don't make mistakes, you will never learn for the next time. Life is anything but consistent.
We have to learn to realize that mistakes are perfectly fine. They are the lessons that take us further in life, the steps that prepare us for what is to come later in our journey. A co-worker from my first job out of college gave me advice I still use to this day. I was panicking about a presentation I designed for the boss, worried that I was going to get it back with a million mistakes. My friend said to me, "Will this matter in a year? Will this matter in 5 years?". I said no. He said back,"Then why stress over it? Focus on the bigger things in life. Be confident in your work." Tumbling down a path of all our insecurities is easy. We hear these things in our head with every bit of our attention focused on the put downs in our head. But we have to stop and pull back up for air. If we are focused on everything we do wrong, how will we ever realize all of the things we do right? If we take everything personal and to heart, life will not have the joy that it should.
We are strong enough to take direction and learn from others. Even from an email that seems to hit my anxiety immediately. I have to stop, take a breath, and realize what it is. It's a tip for next time. It doesn't make me a bad person or a failure. It's my boss helping me learn for the next time it comes up. It doesn't make me horrible at my job or put me in jeopardy of losing my job. If it had ruined my morning, it could have lead into ruining my day.
Our journey is about not knowing what the future is to bring, but getting there day by day. I truly believe everything happens for a reason. If we have can the attitude of saying thank you when someone gives us direction, think about how it can change our minds? Think of how it can make us feel? "I appreciate you for letting me know. Thank you for your help." That's all it has to be. We have to train ourselves to have a different mindset. The more we teach ourselves the positives in our life, the negatives will begin to get smaller and smaller. You are strong, confident, and talented in what you do. Don't let you tell yourself otherwise.
-DC
If you are like me, reading an email that says "next time, please handle these tasks differently...", means you should have known to do it correctly the first time. Then it spirals from there. Why didn't I think to do it that way? I'm an idiot. What does my boss think of me now? Is my job in jeopardy? etc. I was raised to have no mistakes and that everything makes an impression of what kind of person you are. There was no thinking outside of the box, its black and white. So if you were trained all of your life with this thinking, your natural instinct is that you did something wrong.
Life is about mistakes. Life is about learning. Life is about growing. If you don't make mistakes, you will never learn for the next time. Life is anything but consistent.
We have to learn to realize that mistakes are perfectly fine. They are the lessons that take us further in life, the steps that prepare us for what is to come later in our journey. A co-worker from my first job out of college gave me advice I still use to this day. I was panicking about a presentation I designed for the boss, worried that I was going to get it back with a million mistakes. My friend said to me, "Will this matter in a year? Will this matter in 5 years?". I said no. He said back,"Then why stress over it? Focus on the bigger things in life. Be confident in your work." Tumbling down a path of all our insecurities is easy. We hear these things in our head with every bit of our attention focused on the put downs in our head. But we have to stop and pull back up for air. If we are focused on everything we do wrong, how will we ever realize all of the things we do right? If we take everything personal and to heart, life will not have the joy that it should.
We are strong enough to take direction and learn from others. Even from an email that seems to hit my anxiety immediately. I have to stop, take a breath, and realize what it is. It's a tip for next time. It doesn't make me a bad person or a failure. It's my boss helping me learn for the next time it comes up. It doesn't make me horrible at my job or put me in jeopardy of losing my job. If it had ruined my morning, it could have lead into ruining my day.
Our journey is about not knowing what the future is to bring, but getting there day by day. I truly believe everything happens for a reason. If we have can the attitude of saying thank you when someone gives us direction, think about how it can change our minds? Think of how it can make us feel? "I appreciate you for letting me know. Thank you for your help." That's all it has to be. We have to train ourselves to have a different mindset. The more we teach ourselves the positives in our life, the negatives will begin to get smaller and smaller. You are strong, confident, and talented in what you do. Don't let you tell yourself otherwise.
-DC
8.03.2016
Double Check Your Approach
Our journey doesn't start with rainbows and sunshine, yet like me, some of us have started from the bottom. Like most stories, you have a background. Your story has gotten you to this point of your life. All of the ups and downs have brought you to this exact moment.
So we have to go back to the starting line. The time you knew that there has to be more to life. The time you needed there to be more in life. The time when you weren't sure that there was a meaning to life.
This is the bottom or one of the toughest struggles you face. The best way to explain the next chapter of our journey is rock climbing.
What? I know, but just stay with me and listen. I am in no way an expert in this sport, but I have done it a few times, not including 7th-grade gym class. There are two ways to experience the climb. So let's get ready. Imagine yourself standing in front of this rock wall. You look all the way up at this huge obstacle and can barely see the top. You have a harness wrapped around you, and a person next to you holding these ropes, so you don't drop like a fly. Now, you take your first step grabbing the closest rock, pulling yourself up along the way. The reality of heights and your body strength is all you can think of as you get higher and higher up. You finally reach the top and feel this huge relief that you didn't fall.
Your perspective of the climb was most likely exhausting. It's similar to the feeling of daily stress. You can see what looks like to be the end of wall, but you have a long way to go. Each reach is one more push of everything you have. You worry about how you are going to get to the top, or falling to the bottom. I can attest that daily stress is tougher that it sounds. Some days feel like a giant snowball getting bigger, and it's getting heavier. One task turns into 20 things that can wrong, and you feel like you're drowning. Take a deep breath, and look at the rock wall differently. What if you looked at this wall (life) and truly believe in yourself that you are going to the top, and nothing is going to hold you down? Did you think about the harness you were wearing for safety? What about the person standing next to you also to help you down without falling? Did you focus on each rock or the determination to make it to the top?
All of this is to show us that life is all about perspective. It is how you approach each day of stress.
You have to stop and think about the result. You will make it to the top. You have the strength to push yourself to the top. You have the support you need all around you. You have people to lean on when you feel like you are going to fall. The climb of life is how you approach it. Take a minute to realize your options before starting. Have confidence in yourself knowing you can tackle any obstacle that you come to face. I'm saying it won't be that easy every time, but practice makes perfect. Like my last post, it's about telling yourself you can do it. If you take a minute and analyze what is in front of you and the stress may not be so difficult.
-DC
-DC
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)